This too shall pass

Thursday is usually the worst day of my week this fall semester. My TA duty starts at 8 am and goes on for 6 hrs straight. I then rush to my lab to do a couple of hours of work before heading to my own class in the evening. And so, not surprisingly, I am completely drained out by the time I get home and turn in early. In fact the only way I can get through my day is with the help of an energy drink that apparently gives people wings. 

Thursday this week was no different. I had successfully survived TA duty and lab work and I was waiting to catch a bus that would take me home. Now, I am not averse to social interactions, but towards the end of such a long day the only thing I want to do is get home. So I usually cringe if I see an acquaintance walking towards me because that would mean having to make small talk which feels like a daunting task ( my friends know better than to bother :P ). And this was my exact reaction when I saw an ex-student of mine walking towards the same bus stop!

I tried very hard to recall her name but I still cannot, so I will call her Jane. Jane took a course offered by my department during the fall semester last year and I happened to be her TA for the lab portion of this course. The only reason I remember her is because she was very different from the other 39 students in that section. Jane is a middle aged married woman with kids, the eldest being 17 yrs of age.  She has already had a major thoracic surgery and deals with metabolic issues. This combination has obviously impacted her health and in the one semester I interacted with her, I received multiple notes from the doctor to explain her absence in class. However, all of this did not dissuade her from enrolling in college to get a second bachelor’s degree almost 20 years after she completed her first one. She was one of the most enthusiastic students in class with innumerable questions about the subject matter. This attitude was in huge contrast to the other “usual” undergrads who seemed extremely bored of their education in just the second year of their first degrees. Jane is focused, determined and she has a goal, she wants to get the relevant degree to help others like her. This is part of our conversation at the bus stop-

Me- Hey, how are you? How is it going?

Jane- I have been better. How are you?

Me- I am good. Long day?

Jane- Yeah. I found out a few days back that I have th***** cancer.

Me (trying very hard to keep a straight face)- I am so sorry….

Jane- No its alright, it’s the good kind of cancer to have. They just have to remove it and I will be fine. No chemo. The surgery is scheduled a few weeks from now and I am trying to get ahead of everything since I will miss one week of school.

Me- So what courses are you taking….

And so on. We chatted for a few more minutes. It was mostly Jane talking proudly of all the A grades she made over the past year and more excitedly about all her courses from this semester.

Our chat ended when my bus arrived and we said goodbye. It hit me a few minutes after I got on the bus. Jane was telling me about her cancer and she was still smiling! She told me about the silver lining! She was going on with her life as if everything was normal. I couldn’t help but smile at the epiphany!

As grad students, we tend to have a lot of workload. Most of my conversations with my friends or my parents usually revolve around how busy my days are and how much work still needs to be done. At times we have “cribbing sessions” to vent out our frustrations with our fellow grad students. A lot of us have put our lives on hold. We all have an ever increasing bucket list of “Things I will do after I get my PhD”. Not to mention the ever increasing pressure of generating “positive data” to publish papers or taking up leadership roles in “extra-curricular activities” so that we can have a strong resume to secure jobs which apparently are non-existent. It is almost a holy chant for all of us grad students “I have so much to do, I am so stressed out”. And we have plenty of good reasons for it too.

When we are so focused on solving a really specialized question, we fail to look at the bright side of things. We rarely count our blessings. In fact I think most of us believe that we are cursed. But then having 99% of your experiments failing for one or the other reason can make a person cynical.  My conversation with Jane reminded me of all of this. But it also made me realize that once in a while, I need to count my blessings. It will actually make me feel better.  That if I look hard enough, there is always a silver lining.  And as a wise man once said- “This too shall pass”.

Zakir Hussain and Masters of Percussion

The lights dimmed, a sudden hush descends on the auditorium. And yet the atmosphere is charged with excitement. As the ideal chatter dies down, a single voice resonates across the hall chanting "Aum" followed by a string of swaras. As people strain their eyes in anticipation, the spotlight falls on V Selvaganesh as he plays the first notes on the 'ghatam' for the evening.  As his performance is about to end, a silhouette moves on stage and takes position. As the audience strain and wonder, the first notes of 'sarangi' fill the air introducing Dilshad Khan.  The duo slowly reveal their skills and the melody of their music fills the air as they set stage for rest of the concert.
A third silhouette takes position on stage even as the 'sarangi' continues to play. By now the audience is at the edge of their seats with anticipation and excitement peaking. The auditorium is filled with an electrically charged silence with ears and eyes straining towards the stage. As if to answer their prayers,  the first notes of table resonate the silence and the stage is lit with peoples smiles creating a single spotlight. The Ustad has arrived and immediately gets to business even as the first few minutes of his performance are drowned by cheers and claps.
The concert has begun! As the 'ghatam'  quietens, the 'sarangi' and 'tabla' take center stage even as they alternately lead and slide into supporting roles. The Ustad brings 'tabla' closer to real life making it create sounds like people would never have imagined. There is the "Tof tarang" or sound of the booming canon being played and then suddenly a train comes to life on stage with the "rail tarang" imitating the rhythm of a train as it moves with varying speeds and even across varying terrains! And there are interesting anecdotes from Indian mythology being played on just the 'tabla'. And as people are marvelling the Ustad's skills and wondering what next, the 'tabla' suddenly slows down and sounds quite unlike itself!
Just as the audience registers this change, Vijay Chavan hits the first notes on a 'dholki' starting with the traditional beginning of a 'lavani'. And it is at this point that the mood changes from appreciation to enjoyment. With the increasing tempo of the 'dholki' it becomes more difficult to resist the urge to stand up and dance and the entire auditorium is foot tapping! There is an interesting duel between the 'tabla' and the 'dholki' at the end of which the Ustad raises his hands in appreciation even as his face lights up with his hallmark smile of enjoying his art.
 For me, to listen to such an excellent performance on a 'dholki' inspite of being so far away from my home was amazingly overwhelming. In a single moment I had lost myself to the music and found my soul. I wanted to sit and listen in peace and get up and dance at the same time. Its amazing how we don't realize the things we are missing until they are right in front of us! The 'dholki' was definitely highlight of the evening.
As much as the 'dholki' had enthralled the audience before the interval, the 'dhol' charmed them after. Deepak Bhat chose to enter from one of the auditorium doors and move amongst the audience before he captured the stage with traditional punjabi tunes. I think for the first time I realized the difference between classical and folk music. Classical music demands an understanding and appreciation while folk music just demands enjoyment. Classical music has to be listened to with keen ears to appreciate the finesse and accuracy of the swaras. Folk music has to be heard with ears of the heart to join in the enthusiasm and energy of the musician.
Niladri Kumar bought back the melody with a brilliant performance on the sitar which kept sounding like a sitar at times and an electric guitar at others. Steve Smith provided an interesting twist with his bass and drum set.
Towards the end as all seven artists came together , there was a beautiful blend of Hindustani classical music with folk music all of which sounded even better with the western drums. At some points, it was impossible to distinguish the sound and rhythm of each instrument. The most surprising part was the jugalbandi of drums with each of the other instrument. After a while, the drum seemed as much of an Indian classical instrument as the 'tabla' or the 'kanjira'.
The Ustad personally introduced and praised each artist and thanked everyone, from the spot boy to the Indian Consulate, even as he continued playing with the rest. His modesty was visible when at the end, he refused to take credit for the performance himself while cheering the other artists.
The music was surreal, as if angels from heaven had descended upon the earth to provide us mortals a magical experience for the rest of our lives. Truly, the best evening of my time in UGA so far. I hope there are many more to come.

Shantaram

Shantaram literally means a man of peace. The protagonist of the book is rechristened as Shantaram.

It’s ironic considering the fact that the protagonist happens to be a heroin addict who robs stores at gun point to feed his addiction. He gets caught and is sentenced to 19 years of imprisonment in Australia. He escapes and flees to New Zealand and using a fake passport eventually lands in Mumbai, India where most of the story is based.

All of this is exactly what happened in the author’s life in reality.

And so Shantaram is considered an autobiography and the author’s narration does reinforce this belief. However, that is not the case. All of the characters in the book are fictional. And so are the events, except the major ones. For example, the author was actually renamed as Shantaram in a remote Indian village for coexisting peacefully with the villagers for 5 months as if he was one of them.

And therein lays the beauty of the book- in irony, in contrast, in antithesis.

The story begins with the protagonist “Lin” landing in Mumbai and hiring a tour guide “Prabhaker”. As the plot progresses Lin befriends Prabhaker and goes to stay with him in his village Sunder where he is christened as Shantaram by Prabhaker’s mother. On their way back to Mumbai, they are robbed and Lin, having lost all his possessions, is forced to live in the Mumbai slums due to his poverty. In the slum, he sets up a free clinic. The fact that the only medical knowledge Lin has is from his first aid training in Australia just describes the condition of the slum dwellers and yet, Lin adapts to the community and even learns the local language. He also falls in love with Karla and gets involved with the local mafia which gets him in trouble with the local police and he is thrown in Arthur road jail. In prison he almost dies of torture but is released, again due to influence of the mafia. His sense of loyalty to the mafia takes him to Afghanistan to help the Mujahideen. Upon his return, he realizes he has become everything that he loathes and decides to build an honest life.

For those of you not familiar with Mumbai, the city is characterized by its rains, population and its slums. And they don’t exactly make the city pleasant. Its proximity to the sea combined with the Indian sun and pollution makes it a permanent sauna and leaves a person leaving perennially sweaty and sticky. The slum houses the poorest in the city where people are crowded in huts and live without proper water and power supply or even basic sanitation facilities.

And yet, the author finds beauty and happiness in this very city. His narration is such that he leaves the reader with a craving to visit the city. He captures the reader’s attention and imagination with his opening line (insert opening line) and he holds it throughout the 900 page narrative. 900 pages of a story which seems as fantastic as it seems real. And the author weaves this magic with contrast in events, in ideas and in people. A most wanted fugitive runs a free clinic for the poor, a mafia Don uses arguments and theories of physics to debate morality, the poorest people are the happiest, true freedom is experienced in a prison and the most disgusting and annoying features of the city actually make it beautiful.

And this is just the beginning. The narrative has lots of subplots which give interesting insights into the working of mafia and the insides of the Indian film industry and the life of the richest and also the poorest. The author has truly captured the essence of the city.

The book forces a person to broaden their view points and to think beyond just right and wrong. It makes the readers realize that there is a fine grey area which exists between black and white and a person cannot be judged as just good or bad based solely on his actions. And this is exactly why it makes for such an interesting read.

If you still don’t want to read a 900 page book, just wait for the Hollywood movie-

http://www.deadline.com/2013/09/warner-bros-revives-shantaram-johnny-depp-taps-joel-edgerton-for-lead/

What do I teach?

What do I teach?

What would you teach if you were told to teach something to a class within 5-8 minutes?And you could pick a topic, any topic under the sun (well, except the inappropriate ones). 

What would you do if you were in this position and you have to teach a group of people something, anything, in 5 minutes?

Let’s take a look at this group of people.  It consists of professors and students from all parts of the world. And you are an Indian national.

You have been born and brought up in India and after living there for almost a quarter of your life, you fly half way across the world, to do something you believe in. And everything is great, everything is new and different, but it is great nonetheless.

Except that you are still Indian. For your own self and for the world, you are Indian. That is your first line of introduction for the first month you are here- “Hey, I am XYZ and I am from India”. It will probably be the first time in your life when you will actually feel proud of your nationality. Instead of just feeling it because you are supposed to, you will actually feel proud of it. The only other occasion you feel as proud and connected to your motherland is when you sing Her the national anthem and salute Her flag on a foreign country. It will be a feeling so powerful that it will choke you and you will have to fight to get the words out of your mouth, but you will still do it. Because you are Indian.  You still listen to Bollywood songs no matter how crappy some of them are and you still crave for Indian food.

Or maybe you won’t feel any of the above mentioned things, in which case, I just pity you. Because on a global scale, you really don’t have a sense of belonging. Sure, you will eventually make your own identity and you will still need a sense of belonging to keep you rooted. You work for an organization it will be a part of your intro. You work for an individual that will be a part of your intro.  But that’s beside the point right now.

So what are you supposed to teach a group of people in 5 minutes when say atleast for the time being, you are seen only as an Indian student, nothing more. 30% of the people you talk to will be surprised that you can actually make a conversation in english without getting stuck and they will compliment you about it! Most of the people who ask you which part of India you belong to will need an answer relative to New Delhi or Chennai or Mumbai. And almost all Indian food will be naan and chicken tikka masala. And you will feel happy and surprised that people around the globe know about it. And you will feel grateful that people are taking so much efforts to make you feel comfortable and at ease. And eventually you will settle down and make friends and build a life.

But now that you have a chance to teach them, what would you say? Will you talk about the vast and varied geography of India? Or about the numerous cultures She encompasses? Or will you talk about our many festivals ,that certain set of people don’t observe anymore, or the varied food choices? Will you talk about cities which are getting westernized slowly or about those who still uphold their traditions? Will you list the accomplishments of other Indians  and tell people why you are proud of being an Indian? Or will you mention India’s poverty or illiteracy problems ? Will you talk about India’s economy or our attempt to ape certain festivals from across the globe in an effort to become more “westernized”?

What would you teach?

What do I teach?

Any ideas?

PS- This is just me contemplating about a grad school assignment.Please do not get any other ideas. :)

Chronicles of Bangalore- 1

Its been almost a year and a half since I first came to Bangalore.  And like every city, it has its own charm. The tree lined streets, the pleasant weather, the plenty of gardens are a part of it. And so are the traffic jams and overpriced eateries and malls. Well, to each his own, the city has already been described innumerable times from a variety of perspective.  Two things surprise me though, firstly, that Bangalore is not a metro and secondly, this city is a great teacher in itself. And it has its own way of making you learn new things and making you unlearn much more.

I say unlearn because most of the things that have been true for us so far are challenged in the most fundamental ways. The most common and the simplest example would be how people change, or maybe, show some traits which you never thought existed so far. I guess money, or the lack of it, does change a lot of things. Catching up with friends is equivalent to a meal in some fancy restaurant (there is a very nice term for it, fine dining) where they charge you more for the ambience than the food itself. How many of you remember having a much better time with the same people in the hostel mess?? A nice weekend probably means unnecessary shopping and/or visit to a pub where the music is so loud that its impossible to talk, and we go there to “hang out” with friends!!!! Ironic, isn’t it?? We live weekend to weekend, the five days in between are just to get over with, asap.  The phrase “having a life” is now equivalent to the spending power on weekends, the more you spend, the more “life” you have. We have confused the definition of ‘a lifestyle’ and ‘a life’.   And if this isn’t enough, there is always the pressure of looking good, my bad, looking ‘hot’ and ‘sexy’ and ‘modern’ and ‘trendy’. So we spend thousands on the most trivial things like the length of our hair or the shape of our toe nails or the color of our skin. Or maybe, in Bangalore, it does matter what your skin tone is! And once we are outside our homes after being decked up like this, we talk about each and every topic under the sun (not to mention the constant gossip) as if we have a Phd in each of them. We give each other a ego massage and congratulate ourselves for being the masters of the universe. Oh what a wonderfully productive weekend!!! And somebody who does not like all this is a loser, a loner, an outcast or the most pathetic of all, a workaholic!! OMG!! He so needs to ‘get a life’!!!

A good residential area in Bangalore will probably have around 30 restaurants, 20 beauty parlours, 15 mobile service provider shops within 1km radius of it, but not even a single bookstore or stationery shop. Ever noticed that?

So what does Bangalore teach you? It teaches you that situations change people. That some of your closest friends whom you have known for ages will gossip about you for no good reason and you can find the best of friends in perfect strangers. The people you care about can just take advantage of you and some people will be your guardian angels without reason or without your knowledge. That, if you look for them, there will still be some who live for their work and beyond the status quo. Even if for most people money does buy happiness, there will still be some for whom money is just for survival. That your loved ones will always be with you inspite of being far away and some people will always be the same, no matter what and these are the people worth cherishing and caring for.  It teaches you that a dinner date is not necessary to be in love with someone. You can be alone in the crowd and yet, just one person is enough to complete your world.

And last but not the least, as Karan Johar says, “Its all about family”……

P.S- the you I mention is not a person but all of us, what I have written does not necessarily imply a personal experience, the ‘masters of the universe’ line is from the movie Titanic and I am just expressing an opinion, not preaching.

To Romance and to Passion…

Do you look up at the night sky and marvel at the beauty of the moon every day?? Does a tree in full bloom make u smile?? Does your heart skip a beat when u see the sunset? Or the wind blowing in your face makes u euphoric?? If yes, then you are probably a romantic at heart. So what? Everyone is romantic at heart! Well, not everyone takes the time out of their lives to live that romance every day, if only for a few moments……
 Romance, the word is usually associated with love between two people. But it also has many alternate definitions, most common being “a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life” as given in the Oxford dictionary. Ironically, it is this same feeling which actually adds meaning to everyday life.
 I have been living in Bangalore past four months now. Working in a company, my life is mostly about travelling in the bus to and fro and of course, working in the office. And every day, I see thousands of people like me, travelling in the buses, stuck in the traffic for hours, and doing the same work for years together. And this takes a toll on their lives, in a big way! Mondays are hated, weekends begin on thursday evenings and usually involve getting drunk, watching movies, visiting some mall which looks like the 10 other u have already seen and/or paying exorbitant prices in a restaurant for food which is just normal apart from its presentation or the ambience of the place or just its location!!!! And inspite of all this, people come to hate their life so much that they want to kill everyone they see in the bus or on the roads who shows the slightest hint of being in the same industry as them, which basically means, every other person on the street. They have the money and they have the means to luxury, but where is the quality of life??
 W.H.Davies wrote aptly - “A poor life this if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare”
 And there are people, who life the same life, do the same work for years and yet they are truly happy, it reflects in their attitude, its audible in their talks, they make everyone around them smile. The one reason that I have realized so far, for this difference in people is that the latter take time out of their everyday life, to do something they like, play their favorite sport or pursue a hobby maybe. They take time out for things they are passionate about. And it is this passion that keeps them going, keeps the inner fire burning.
 Ever noticed, how people in love always seem to be so happy?? How your friend’s eyes start sparkling with joy when he or she starts talking about things they love? How all the troubles seem to vanish when you listen to your favorite song? How the mere idea of a weekend trek makes the week fly?? It’s all romance, it’s all passion…..
The easiest way to romance, fall in love!! Fall in love with yourself, with someone, with something, sing a song, break into an impromptu jig, read that book you have always wanted to, plan that holiday even if it seems impossible right now, take some time out to enjoy nature. You never know what is it that makes your life worth living! You never know, maybe your hobby will give you a new lease of life.
 Not everything you love can make a living for you, not everyone can follow their passion. Romance doesn’t pay your bills. Life makes you dance to her tunes they say. Well, so be it, I can still choose my own steps….. Everyone makes a career, earns a living and raises a family. But does everyone live a life they love?? I raise a toast, to romance and to passion, may you live longer than mankind.....
 P.S- yeah I know what most of you are thinking, who am I to judge or give life advice? Well, to be frank, nobody, just sharing my opinion, no offence to anybody.
P.P.S- this one is dedicated to somebody whose sheer passion for things has inspired and added a whole lot of color to my current life . A big thanks to you, from the bottom of my heart.

The "Godly" debate

“Do you believe in God??” Someone asked me this today, and to be frank, I didn’t have a concrete answer. Probably a bit surprising for many of us, considering I live in India and belong to a religion which believes in the existence of 33 crore Gods!!! Probably many of my peers are facing the same dilemma, do we really believe in God? Yes it is true, we attend pooja’s, we go visit temples and bow in front of the idol, we also make a wish or two but then, how many of these actions are a personal belief and how many just to respect the custom or some elderly family member?
As kids we were taught to respect God, to fear, to pray and to believe. Our grandparents told us stories from the mythology, all of them glorifying the Gods as we know them today. Growing up, we know our mythology, but then we are we sure those events actually occurred? We have grown up belonging to a particular religion, instructed to follow its customs, and expected to stay loyal to the religion of our birth. But how relevant is it to our existence? If whatever my religion says is true, if my God is true, then does it imply that other religions are false, that their God is false? Then won’t they believe in the same? That my religion, my God is false?
I know from personal experience that not everything that happens around me or in my life is under my control. And there are times when I really don’t have an explanation for a particular occurrence. Depending on the significance of that event in my life, I term it God’s grace, luck, destiny or whatever. But a lack of explanation does not prove the existence of God does it?
Personally speaking, I am a believer, not in a particular entity or an idol or a religion, but I do believe that there are some things beyond my will or control and in such times, I just wait and watch. I believe in the positive energy and I believe in doing everything in my power. Maybe that is what some people describe as God. Maybe for some, the personification of this energy is necessary in order to believe. But then how does religion come into picture??
My science teaches me not to accept anything without a rational justification. But this same science is still unable to explain a number of natural phenomenons. Does that mean I should not believe in science? Or should I extrapolate the same logic and believe in the existence of God?
I met with a small accident a couple of months back. I wasn’t hurt much, but it could have been much worse. The incident freaked me out, to the extent that I stopped reading a book on atheism that I was carrying in my bag at that time. I still haven’t touched the book. In retrospect, it seems silly now, or probably makes it look like I do believe in God. I was scared then, for my life, for my family and such strong sentiments turned me into a believer, I was thankful to be safe and alive, and I thanked God, not a particular God, but to me it was the energy of the universe, the power of the good, as I like to think.
Maybe that is what makes people believe too, the fear of the unknown, of the things they can’t control, the uncertainty in their lives. Maybe believing in some higher power gives them the strength to move on no matter what. Maybe that’s why, people believe in God!!!